because you never forget that funny smell

Month: July 2008

A Lucky Escape

You may have heard in the news of the Qantas Airlines Jumbo jet with more than 360 passengers and crew that was forced to make an emergency landing in Manila, Philippines after a mid air explosion ripped a huge hole in the Boeing 747-400 aircraft’s fuselage.

Passengers described hearing a loud bang followed by a rush of wind and debris in the cabin. The plane had left Hong Kong about an hour earlier. Air safety officials say that the explosion occurred at an altitude of 29,000 feet leading to rapid decompression of the cabin. Oxygen masks were deployed and the passengers quickly put them on. The flight crew put the plane into an emergency descent dropping from the cruising altitude down to 10,000 feet where it was possible to breath normally. Terrified passengers believed they were about to crash into the sea until the plane leveled off and many wept or said prayers.

Safety examiners will now carry out painstaking investigations to try to discover what caused the damage to the fuselage, blowing out a hole the size of a family car. They will want to quickly rule out the possibility of a terror attack. For the moment they are fully aware that this could have been a far bigger incident.

The flight crew acted with impressive calmness and professionalism in recovering the situation and landing the plane safely in Manila. As it happens all those involved in the mid air drama walked away with nothing more serious than shock.

It is worth noting here what a local newspaper wrote: The number of people killed in Britain’s roads every year would fill six 747 Jumbo jets. Flying is still the safest mode of travel and Qantas has one of the best safety records around. Enjoy your holidays.

I won the El-Gordo Lottery

I received a posh looking cream envelope in this morning’s post. It was addressed in a neat, classy-looking type, official and respectable. I opened it with mild curiosity and was quite amazed at the contents.

It seems that yours truly had just won a prize in some foreign lottery that took place way back in March! What great news. According to the letter I had won in the 3rd category lottery and my prize was well over 900,000 Euros!

here is a copy of the letter:

…………..Award Notification

We are happy to inform you of this year’s release of the El Gordo Sweepstake International Program, held on the 27th March 2008. Due to the mix up of numbers and names, the reasults were later released on the 9th of May, 2008. Your name was entered as an alternative number attached to reference number HD/0999/177ESP with, Batch number:12115-04/EU drew the lucky numbers 9-13-21-30-31-44, which consequently won the lottery in the 3rd category.

You have therefore been approved to a lump sum payment of 915,810.00 Euros in cash. This is from a total cash prize of 13,868,770.00 Euros shared among the (seventeen international winners in this campaign). Congratulations!!!

Your fund is now deposited with the Bank and insured in your name. Due to false practices, we ask that you keep your award information strictly from public notice, until your claim has been processed and money remitted to your possession as this is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unwarranted abuse of this program by unscrupulous individuals.

All participants were selected through computer ballot system drawn from (ONE Million) names from Asia, America, Africa, Europe, and South Pacific, as part of our International promotion program. We hope your lucky name will draw a bigger cash prize in the subsequent programs ahead.

To begin your lottery claims, please contact your agent, Pedro Gonzalez, The foreign Service Manager, La Oriental De Seguros S.A.Company on Tel No: 0034 691 783 669, Fax 0034 911 014 214 for the precessing and remittance of your prize winning money to a designated bank account choice of yours.
remember all prize money must be claimed no later than 23rd May 2008. Any claims not made before this date will be returned to the MINISTERIO DE ECONOMIA Y HACIENDA as unclaimed fund.

And also be informed that 10% of you winnings belongs to (LA ORIENTAL DE SEGUROS S.A) because they are the promotion company that bought your ticket and played the lottery on your name, this ten percent will be paid after you have received your award prize(money) in your designated bank account of your choice. Three (3) certificates are to be issued to you by the Local Government Tax Authority, Ministry of Finance, and Ministry Of Interior, to back up your winning. Your agent will direct you further on the administrative requirement to enable the bank to release your fund to the designated choice of yours.

NOTE: in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers in every correspondence with your agent comapany. Furthermore, should there be any change of address, do inform your claims agent company as soon as possible, and please be informed that the original copy of this letter is with your agent PEDRO GONZALEZ, so do contact him on Tel: 0034 691 783 669.

Congratulations once again!!!!

So, what to do now? Do I contact Pedro Gonzalez with all my particulars and details of where to send the prize money or should I do the smart thing and bin his letter?

I am sorry to say that so many people just like you and me have fallen for this sales patter and lost huge amounts of money. This is one of the most common scams today and the perpetrators are fishing for your details in order to steal your identity. With the details that they obtain from you they go ahead to commit all sorts of criminal fraud including obtaining credit, loans, bank accounts, phone contracts and other services all the while claiming to be you. Let us get real. You will never win anything on a lottery that you did not actually enter. It is not going to happen.

Over the years The National Lottery has proved to be as good as any when people have fancied trying their luck. It is said that the “Lotto” is the most successful lottery in the world with a greater share of its income going to the prize fund and also to good causes. It has created a significant amount of lotto millionaires. The owners of the game are constantly finding new ways to make playing easier. You can open a National lottery

account and start playing today.

Play Lotto online – we’ll check your numbers for you

Do you like my hair?

The sun was already quite high in the sky when I woke up early that morning at 10.00. The house was as silent as a tomb. I went downstairs and made sure that the other members of the household were gone. Perfect. I was home alone, exactly what was needed for what I was about to do.

I ran back up to the bedroom and pulled out the brown package from where I had hidden it under the bed. As I pulled out a little dark bottle from the box a small instruction’s leaflet fell to the floor. I picked it up and read it twice just to make sure. The skull-and-cross bones image at the top of the leaflet lent an air of urgency to the moment and I went quickly into the bathroom and placed the bottle by the wash basin.

I looked in the mirror suddenly and caught the doubts in my face. But this was no time to have a last minute change of heart, I told myself. I had to be strong and carry it through. I had got this far and spent so much money and time surely I must go ahead with it. In any case I was suffering from chronic insomnia and poor appetite caused by all this anxiety. My life was falling apart. The contents of this bottle offered me a way out.

My turmoil all begun three weeks earlier. It is hard to imagine now how a silly chance conversation with a stranger in a pub had dented my self confidence and lowered my self-esteem to somewhere just below the knee. The whole thing had pushed me into a mid-life crisis.

The man had first walked up to me at the bar and said that he liked my nice tweed cap. We chatted and joked about hats, umbrellas and walking-sticks for a bit and he bought us a couple more double whiskeys. It was then that he pressed home his attack.

“ Aren’t you just a little bit ashamed of your grey hair”?

I told him it was none of his business and I was quite happy the way I was, thank you very much! In many communities grey was seen as a sign of wisdom and respectability. Can you believe the cheek of this man? He laughed at me and ordered us two more whiskeys. It was then that I noticed that his hair was black as a raven.

You like it, don’t you? he asked, running a fat hand through his silken hair. “I’ve used a dye since I was twenty-seven and I have never looked back.”

“Today, everyone is doing it.” He said.

“I have many young clients some even half your age and they swear by the stuff. It is nothing to do with age.” He said. He drained his glass and went off to the gents’ for a third time.

I studied the leaflet that he had left on the bar. There were photographs of men in their forties and fifties playing beach-volleyball, tennis and golf and not a grey hair to be seen. On the inside page there was a doctor with a stethoscope and below that a lawyer with an armful of files. There was a Judge sitting at the bench and a company Chief Executive having a massage. They all had perfect hair.

My friend was back. He showed me a bottle of the miracle stuff. It was called Grobber and described as the Professional Hair Colour for Discerning Men. It was what the professional stylists used in really posh salons where a dye job for a regular-sized head was upwards of £50. My new friend said he was an Independent Personal Grooming Consultant and just for today he was offering me the dyeing compound kit on a Special introductory offer of £60 for a twelve-month supply. I needed time to get the money. He was happy to wait. We would meet at the end of the following week. And so it was. We met in the pub at the pre-arranged time and down there in the empty toilets we struck a deal and shook hands.

Today was the big day. Donning a pair of rubber washing-up gloves I filled the basin and washed my hair in lukewarm water. I then poured the dark Grobber liquid all over my head taking care to work it so that it covered the entire scalp. I sprinkled the magic fixing powder product . This initiated the chemical reaction and also acted as a catalyst. I left the whole mess on my head for I hr 45 minutes as advised and then rinsed it out in cold water until the water changed from blood red to clear.

The results were truly amazing: I was the proud owner of a brand new head of jet-black silky hair and looked twenty years younger. I showered, got dressed and called for a taxi. I did not want to be late for my new gym membership consultation .

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