because you never forget that funny smell

The dark secret (again)

There is a popular style of speaking that every now and then declares something like “White is the new black” or “Thurdsay is the new Friday” – It is a supposedly cool way of saying that trends are changing. This morning I caught a bit of a radio show in which a hair styling guru was being interviewed. She stated quite clearly that Grey is the new Blond, or Black.

More and more people of a certain age-group feel confident enough to wear their natural hair with grey. It is now considered sophisticated and mature – in a good way.

I’m always the last one to hear about these things. Infact just last Thursday I slipped into a small chemist’s the other side of town and quietly bought myself another one of these


In every carton you have 2 bottles – a small one and a larger one. There is also an instructions leaflet. The dyeing process can hardly be described as rocket science – it is more like bathroom chemistry. It helps if you have a steady hand and a bit of privacy.


The contents of the small bottle are poured into the larger bottle which you then shake for a few minutes to mix the reactants quite thoroughly. I should have mentioned that it is a good idea to put on the disposable gloves – which I discovered in the packet half-way through the process.

You are advised to test on a small patch of hair just incase you are allergic to the products.

Once the dye is applied you should not leave it on the scalp any longer than 5 minutes. The leaflet actually warns users not to simply guess when 5 minutes are up. Use a stopwatch. I would hate to imagine what happens at the 6th minute. I have not had that problem though because I find that 5 minutes is plenty of time – so much time infact that looking in the mirror I catch myself contemplating the ironies of nature – what exactly is the use of hair on the average human’s head? Is it perhaps as a protection against cold and/or heat? Harmful solar radiation, maybe? If that be the case why are the most vulnerable – babies, the elderly why don’t they have more hair than the rest of society. Why also does nature rob you of hair from your head and transplant it in silly places like inside ears, on the back, in the nose – I am on a roll now as I slowly develop the theory in my mind that in nature Hair is just another mating accessory – we have peacocks with their fine feathers, monkeys with their colouful behinds so why not lovely hair to attract the mate – in human populations. It is an evolutionary trick. Once you are past the mating age it is all downhill….

Oh, five minutes are up and it is time to remove the funny mess from my scalp. After a good rinse and shampoo I step out of the bathroom looking a bit silly but 11 years younger. The remaining liquid in the bottles must be discarded. The clever scientist have made the dye so that it decays one hour after mixing. Next time you want to cover up the greys you will need to buy a new bottle. Like I did just before writing this.

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  1. Post your photo here so that we can gauge if this advert is worth it 🙂

  2. That would be the ideal solution, it would seem….. I will get onto it straight away. Thanks for dropping by.

  3. I don’t know whether to be impressed that you have perfected the art of privately dying hair in the bathroom or offended that I’ve never thought of covering my 3 (no really, they are exactly 3) grey hairs and you have! *shrug* I’ll let you know once I figure it out.

  4. You mustn’t be offended. I guess natural is best but vanity sometimes gets the better of us. I do wonder at times whether the whole effort is worth it considering that nobody is fooled.

    Thanks for visiting.

  5. Hahahaha…i like your thoughts on why the most vulnerable don’t have a lot of hair plus the quip that hair is a mating accessory – brilliant! Now I have a silly question – what do the masses do with the greys that are ‘not out for display’……just wondering 😉

  6. Miss K You are too funny…..what an interesting thought. I would guess that out of sight is out of mind. Just a guess though.

    Thanks for dropping in.

  7. Funny I should read this just after messing my hair with dye! In my defence, the local saloon said the don’t colour my kind of hair (they’re white)
    Yay to a pic

  8. Hmm, I got grey when I was in high school but by the time I was through college, over 80% of my hair and beard was grey. Even though people always asked me to dye, I preferred it grey as it was a novelty being young and with grey hair. Now that I am much older, I started dyeing this year! Normally the barber does it for me (it costs a fortune as I have to go back every few days if I want to keep it short and dark)…maybe I should try the product you have put on here…how long does it lasts? And does it fade off to leave your hair kind of brown? Or maybe I should just let grey be and save myself the hustle…

  9. Rocket science no doubt!

  10. Hi Farmgal – Perhaps you will elighten me what is the difference between colour and dye? Which one should I choose……

    Otieno – you’ve caused much merriment in the Wool household – I have ripped my pyjamas laughing…I was trying to save myself some cash whilst getting rid of the “rough and ready” look that a grey stubble offers. It is ok when you are on holiday but living in the real world where books are judged by their covers, one has to stoop low and conform. Once I become a famous published author………….

  11. I don’t even know if it’s dye or colour though colour sounds correct. My hair is a mess so no I can’t help.

  12. Ha ha Woolie you are funny! I tried dying my hair once.. no it’s not gray. I was trying to dye it purple coz I was going through a gothic phase, don’t ask. I managed to dye my towel and clothes purple, but my hair remained a stubborn black!

  13. Hehehehe… Did you say that monkeys have a colourful behind?? lol!

  14. Its what I’ve been told……hehehe

  15. Again with the dye? Your hair issues so bloody hilarious… Ha! I thank you Woolie, this was a disturbingly good laugh.

  16. Hi Alex, having realised that one can take this thing too far, I now keep hair short and wear caps and hats whenever I go outside

    It is writing these things down that keeps one going, as you well know 🙂

  17. Nooooo… The way I was so looking forward to more hair tales down the line man! Now you’ve gone and spoilt it for me. Ah well… Hahaha!

    PS. I think grey is sexy, just saying.

  18. Hair tales, eh? Perhaps you are right. This could be a rich mine waiting to be exploited. Orderly grey, in ladies or gents can be very attractive

  19. Orderly? As in not in random patches? hahaha… There’s an article in today’s nation about going grey, apparently ‘grey is the new blonde’ (talk about a blonde statement…). And yes, please continue the hair tales, its good to read about men’s small vanities, makes us women feel more normal in our obsession with all things beauty. Plus the tales are hilarious so…

    PS. Attractive is the word I should have used, much more dignified, as befits your house. 🙂

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