wetwool

because you never forget that funny smell

This one is about nine lives and putting a stop to domestic violence

Written By: woolie - Apr• 28•13

My friend, the retired Detective Inspector, called me late on Friday afternoon. I was making an easy day of it working from home in my PJs. Two days before, I had left a message with his office asking if he would be kind enough to grant me an interview. I am doing some research on an unsolved murder that took place over thirty years ago and I was hoping that the D.I could arrange it so that I could see the official notes taken at the time.

‘Meet me at the community centre in an hour,’ he said after I had briefed him.’We can talk about it then. Also there is something I would like you to see.’

Knowing the DI’s views on punctuality I put away my work, shaved, showered and dressed in record time. There was no time to do the magic thing with the hair. I did however use a drop of her majesty’s hair oil, mainly for the good smell.

Just as I was ready to leave a dull pain and low grumble in my gut sent me back to the loo. Now this was becoming a bit of a routine. It seemed that there was a problem with my body’s number 2 functions. I had noticed over the past 3 months or so that I would sit on the throne, empty the bowels making certain that all was done. I would then shower,getting nice and fresh. But then, just as I got to the front door I would have the urge to go back to the loo dropping a whole bucket full once again. It was getting quite annoying and worrying. I would bring it up next time I saw the Doctor.

I jumped into the next mat and arrived at the community centre with about ten minutes to spare. Inside, I spotted the DI standing at the front of the hall. He appeared to be in deep conversation with a uniformed female police officer. They both turned round to look as the door closed gently behind me.

‘ Aha, there you are, Woolie,’ said the DI. ‘Come straight through. We are just about to begin.’ I followed them into an inner office inside which several people were getting ready. I learned that they were recording a short radio mini – play and the actors were all local people.

The lady holding the huge furry microphone came into the centre of the group and when all was ready the director said ‘Action!’ The amateur players took their cue.

Their setting was a typical evening street scene where two friends have unexpectedly bumped into one another.

Bubba: Hey Plaxton, how are you me old friend, long time no see

Plaxton: Oh, is it you, Bubba. I am fine, my good friend. How’s the family?

Bubba: Oh forget that for a minute, will you. Come here…

Thwack!! Bubba lands a big fat slap on his mates back. Plaxton stumbles and nearly falls.

Bubba: Hey…listen, let’s have a quick drink for old times bwana. Mtego’s is just round the corner. It’s so great to see you.

Plaxton: I really can’t my dear friend. I need to hurry home. We are having guests for dinner and I promised Armonia I would home on time.

Bubba: That is all woman’s work. Let your wife get things ready. We’re having a drink.

They have stopped at the door to the bar. Plaxton is reluctant to enter but Bubba pushes him in. Soon their table’s surface is all but covered in bottles of frothy beer. Bubba is downing them at the rate of three bottles to Plaxton’s one.

Bubba: You are the Man in your house, Plaxton. If you get home and find that your woman hasn’t got things ready, give her a few slaps, like I do. That will teach her for next time.

Bubba wipes the froth off his lips with the back of his hand.

Plaxton: We don’t have that sort of a marriage. I treat Armonia with respect. I treat her as an equal and we share in all the household tasks. I must go.

Bubba gets up and pushes his friend off his stool, knocking him to the ground.

Bubba: Then go away you girlie-man go and help your wife chop the onions. It is no wonder our country is going to the dogs.

The security men quickly escort Bubba outside to the warm evening air with kicks and slaps.

Police woman: Domestic violence is a crime and the police now treat it very seriously. Call a stop to domestic violence now.

The end.

I learned that the mini play would be aired every day for a fortnight after the early evening news.

After the DI had said his farewells we left the centre and headed back into town. We stopped at the place called the city jungle. It was my first time in the new club. At the bar we ordered a couple of beers taking in the atmosphere. I excused myself and headed off to answer a swift call of nature.

As I returned to the bar I spotted someone speaking to the DI and my heart sank. They were taking our drinks over to a table and it appeared that my private chat with the DI would have to be postponed. I recognised the newcomer as I approached the table. Joseph Francis was our local bank manager. A popular figure. He was one of the characters in our community.

‘I needed this.’ Said the manager, draining his glass in one long draught. ‘I have had the most challenging of days.’

‘Tell us what happened,’ Said the DI. We’re dying to know.’
‘Perhaps you mustn’t mention dying so readily.’ Was the distressed manger’s reply. ‘When I woke this morning I did not have a clue that at some point today I would be involved in the loss of life.’

‘More drinks, Woolie. Fetch more drinks please. Joseph here has something important to tell us.’ I took the cash that the DI thrust towards me and headed for the bar.

It did not take long for Joseph to get into his story.

He had woken early that Friday and then quickly remembered that it was his day off. It was a favourite time in their work calendar, the long weekend. It meant that he was not due back in the office until Wednesday morning. So an easy, soft day lay ahead.

He would start with a leisurely breakfast, read the papers, deal with personal emails and then perhaps visit a few of his favourite blogs. Depending on his mood, he might spare a few moments for the hideously named “social media”. After all that it would surely be time to slip into the shed outside and get onto the one thing which gave him the utmost pleasure. He was currently working on a short stool, a project which was more a labour of love. He would dedicate 3 or 4 hours to this. Francis may have been a banker but carpentry was his true calling. In his spare time he turned out lovely bits of furniture which he proudly presented to his wife and her friends. He had fitted his shed with various carpentry tools and not a soul knew about this place.

His wife at this moment would just be getting ready for work. Once she had left, Francis would be free as a bird. He half listened to the noisy drivel from the radio djs on the morning drive time show as he waited to hear his wife saying good bye.

He was more than a little surprised, he told us, when his good lady, Alexis walked back into their bedroom smiling sweetly and wearing nothing but her wedding ring. She hopped back into bed pulling the covers over her smooth body. There must be an explanation, Francis thought. Perhaps she was unwell. Alexis did not look unwell. They spent some great quality time together and after that she explained to Francis that she had taken the day off from her job at the wholesale chemists to spend time with him. How lovely, Francis thought.

Ms Alexis had the whole day planned out. A quick visit to pick up some special prescriptions at Village market, followed by a drive to Ngong Road to see a client and then a quick lunch for two. After that on to Nakumatt to pick up a host of household items. The errands would take all day, thought Francis and he could think of no way to get out of it.

As they went to the car Alexis noticed that her pussy was resting in the shade under their car. Alexis advised Francis to tap on the horn to frighten the cat away. You must always do that to avoid an accident, Alexis told him.

The day had gone cheerfully well to Francis’ surprise and delight. They had enjoyed themselves and completed Alexis’ to do list with plenty of time to spare. She was very happy and gratefully told Francis that he was free to do as he wanted now. He slipped straight out to the shed to start work on his stool. As Francis worked away at it occurred to him that he would need another tin of wood-glue. The hardware store would be closing soon and he would need to drive there without delay.

He had jumped into the car and set off. There was a sudden and very loud and deadly shrieking howl from underneath the car. Francis had stopped immediately. He looked under the car to find a dead cat. The front and back wheels had crushed it spreading brain and intestinal matter on the pavement. Francis had panicked. He looked around him astonished that nobody had come to check the source of the loud racket of a few minutes ago. Once he was certain that he was not being observed Francis scraped the black cat’s remains from the pavement and went to the back garden where he interred them in a shallow grave.

Now what to do about Alexis? She adored that cat and Francis had neglected to tap on the horn. What a mess. Perhaps he could buy her a new cat – but she would realise straight away that this was not the same cat. There was only one way. He would have to tell her the truth. Francis counted to ten and marched into the house. Alexis was in the kitchen making some tea. She took out a bottle of milk from the fridge. There was a saucer on the floor and she filled this with milk. Francis had started to say that he had something to tell her. But Alexis did not hear as she was calling out saying: Here pussy, pussy come and have some milk, pussy pussy.

The cat glided smoothly through the door that led from the living room into the kitchen where they stood. Francis let out a cry saying to Alexis that he urgently needed a drink.

Respect for the departed

Written By: woolie - Apr• 11•13

I may have heard of Britain’s first woman prime minister at the time of her election victory but the Thatcher that I knew of back then was the tough, no nonsense wife of Whispers, whose misadventures we read about every Sunday on Wahome Mutahi’s column.

Ofcourse in time we got to learn of this new strong British Prime minister who replaced a weak Labour government following the winter of discontent. We watched as Thatcher ordered the biggest naval operation of the day to retake the disputed Falkland Islands (Malvinas) after Argentinian forces had invaded them in April 1982. Following Britain’s famous victory Thatcher gained the highest ratings of any leader and went on to win a second term for her conservative party.

We came to learn how Thatcher closed down coal mines and ship yards, actions which cost many thousands of jobs and also how she used the police to break up the trades unions.

Margaret Thatcher was a force to reckon with even beyond the shores of the United Kingdom. She shared US president Reagan’s conviction that theirs was a calling to defend global capitalism in the face of the cold war communist threat. It was the Soviets infact who coined the name Iron Lady – which was later taken to mean the lady with steel bolls even in the UK.

Margaret Thatcher and Reagan argued against the imposition of international sanctions against the apartheid regime of South Africa making them no friends of the Frontline States at the time. Thatcher went even further describing the ANC as a terrorist organisation. It was clear that they were out of step with the rest of the world which witnessed the changing winds as the cold war was drawing to a close.

Thatcher reorganised the economy in Britain and went on to lead the conservatives to a third election victory in 1987 securing her place as the longest serving premier of the twentieth century. Her uncompromising politics and leadership style made her unpopular in her country and it was members of her own party that engineered the plot that toppled her from power.

Baroness T

Baroness Thatcher, as she later became died on April 8th 2013 following a stroke. She had stood down from active politics some 20 years earlier and had been quite unwell in recent years. There have been street parties and celebrations up and down the country following news of her death. I think that this is regrettable.

Thatcher loyalists – and there are just as many as her detractors – look upon these strange scenes of jubilation and say: “Thatcher won. They had to wait until she left so that they could party”

4th March 2013

Written By: woolie - Mar• 04•13

It is election day today and voters up and down the country have joined in large numbers to queue patiently and await their opportunity to exercise their democratic right under the New Constitution of 2010.

One Nation

We are told that the presidential poll is too close as the age old Kenyatta – Odinga rivalry enters the final straight. Whatever happens tonight the Fourth of March becomes an important date in our national calendar. As Kenyans take part in this historic event they should take great pride in the fact that this democratic exercise is only possible because of their own desire to vote peacefully whilst exercising patience and tolerance.

To see the long queues in the hot sun is to understand the challenges of our young democracy. It is also to understand that it will not be Kofi Annan or Hillary Clinton or even our own Barack Obama that will come here to sort our country out if the violent genie of 2007/8 comes out of the bottle this year.

Only Kenyans working together and taking on these challenges can find lasting solutions. Many Kenya patriots living abroad and following developments on the social media will quite rightly feel a sense of loss at not having been able to take part in this most noble cause today.

God Bless Kenya

I always wanted to leave home. I never knew they were going to stop me from coming back. Maybe, if I knew, I never would have left. It is kind of painful to be away from everything that you’ve ever known. Nobody will know the pain of exile until you are in exile. No matter where you go, there are times when people show you kindness and love, and there are times when they make you know that you are with them but not of them. That’s when it hurts.
—Miriam Makeba

March 4th is also the birthday of the great Miriam Makeba – “Mama Afrika” who would have been 81 today.

Miriam

Why don’t men go to the doctor’s?

Written By: woolie - Dec• 17•12

Flo Rida walked with us to the car whilst her kids stood at the doorstep waving us good bye. My husband, Ian opened the driver’s door and got in and I gave Flo a final hug. My husband eased the car down the driveway and into the road.

We drove in silence for a while. It was as if both of us were going over what we had just witnessed. My older brother, Tom Rida, 38, married father of two lying terribly ill in bed looking as if he was hovering in that place that is between life and death. The former rugby player and Police boxing team coach looked like a mosquito – weighing just 45Kg

Ian and Tom were old friends. They went to college together and after that they had joined the Police force working together for many years before Ian left to start his own business. Tom remained with the force and was now a well-respected senior officer dedicated to his profession. I could see the pain in Ian’s eyes at seeing his friend in that condition.

We were coming to the small round about near our home when Ian said “ Gosh Brenda – Let us pray that Tom pulls through.”

“Msscheeeeew!” I began, “If that silly idiot listens to the doctors and his wife and takes his medication he should make a full recovery. Then I will go round there and give him a few slaps, Nkt.”

“Why are you being so harsh, Brenda – the poor bloke is seriously ill.” Ian spoke gently not wanting to start an argument.

“Ian, please.” I said. “I am not being harsh. Consider for a moment what Tom has put his family through. Flo is at her wits’ end. Tom has been going on about his stupid tummy feeling rough for nearly two years now – but would he see a doctor? Would he seek advice? No sir, not our Tom. Eno and Andrews were his dawas and he switched from Viceroy to a more expensive brandy.”

“Flo begged him to go to the doctor many times when he complained about a pain in his gut or his loose stool but he kept shrugging her off. It was only because he nearly collapsed in the bathroom on Mashujaa day that Flo rushed him to the emergency room.”

Ian was quiet now as we turned into the entrance to our flats. He found a parking space and switched off the engine but he made no attempt to get out of the car. He looked at me and said, “So let me get this straight – are you saying that this whole thing could have been diagnosed earlier and saved Tom and Flo all this heartache?”

“Yes Ian, that is what makes me so angry. He’s your friend and even you had no idea” I could feel the tears welling so I took a deep breath and said, “So why is it that you guys find it so difficult to go and see a doctor when you feel poorly?”

Ian shook his head. “I can think of a thousand excuses but all of them are lousy. We are brought up to believe that it is not manly to cry and complain about pain – so when you have an ache here or a funny itch somewhere else, you say to yourself that it is temporary and will get better. If it gets a bit harsher you say Mimi ni mwanume nitavumilia. Before long you say nitazoea and people wonder why you started walking funny.

“Lack of time is sometimes used as an excuse – we are too busy and have no time to be sitting around in waiting rooms.”

“Some of us say that doctor’s are too expensive – meanwhile forgetting the true cost of serious illness. It is also a fact that men never discuss personal medical issues with their colleagues unless they already have a diagnosed condition. There is also fear of the unknown, Brenda. Most men are afraid that the doctor may find terrible things going on which they would rather not know about. It is easier to be an ostrich and hope that things will go away.”

We both got out of the car and headed for the flat. I felt much better now after our talk. Tom Rida was lucky to have someone like Flo. She had stood by him and nagged him and pushed him until he had sought medical help. Surely I would do the same for my Ian.

But what about all the other men out there who had nobody to nag and push and beg.

Men stop behaving like little boys and go see your doctor.

Stay well,

Poor parenting and bad luck

Written By: woolie - Sep• 26•12

There is a new notice on this keyboard that I am using that says : Warning – official business only.
I am working late in the office tonight – only the second time in the 12 years that I have worked here – because I spent most of the day at Kaloleni police station. I was invited there to try and identify some items taken in a burglary at our flat in early August.

As I put my feet on the desk and sip my coffee I take a moment to savour the peace and quiet of the office. Outside, traffic is easing in the streets below as people make their way home. Save for the light from the street lamps it is very dark in here. Our electric lights’ circuit has recently been put on some kind of a timer so that you cannot switch the lights on after 5.30pm. The water in the loos is also on some timer – no flushes after 4.30pm.

Our problems began when Head office brought in a new office manager, Julius Kata, to take over as our Gladys went on maternity leave. Since the beginning of August Mr Kata has lived up to his name. He has cut our lunch hour to 35 minutes and declared a ban on all overtime. Some of the senior staff members on better salaries were asked to take pay cuts or see their positions made redundant. Everywhere in the office Kata has pasted small notices with slogans like Cut waste. Waste costs Jobs. Increase Productivity. He is quickly becoming public enemy No.1 in this place but we are powerless to do anything.

I sip some more tea and try to recall the events of the last few weeks. It came as a bit of a coincidence that just at about the time Mr Kata started swinging his axe in our office our youngest son aged ten learned that their school was starting Taekwondo lessons. He asked us so many times if he could join and each time Mrs Woolie said no. My son bided his time and came to me when I was alone. He begged and pleaded so much that in the end I capitulated and said yes. I read the letter that he thrust at me. It contained details of the course and fees. I almost screamed. They were charging a fortune! Is this legal, I wondered.

The next mistake that I made was to swear the little boy to secrecy. Under no circumstances could we tell mummy that he was taking the taekwondo lessons. At least not for the moment. That was to be our secret. I’d then sneaked out of the house at about half-past-eight making my way to our local watering-hole. On arrival I whispered to Magdalen, the young barmaid and she went off to fetch the local financial advisor. Just as I sat down Magdalen returned with Mr money- bags. We waited until our drinks had arrived. I explained my predicament and the shark said that what I needed was a short term log-book loan. We agreed repayments terms and I discreetly passed over Mrs Woolie’s Log Book. He counted out the 23K(i had my own expenses to take care of) with a practised hand, all the while a small line of saliva hanging from his lower lip.

My third mistake had been to confide in the shark. I explained that it would harm my marriage if Her Majesty was to learn of my smooth cunning. I said the clever thing tonight would be to put the notes in an envelope wrapped carefully with the signed letter of authority, place this inside one of his books and put it all away in my boy’s school bag. The boy could then give it to the teacher.

Shark seemed genuinely impressed and called me sungura mjanja.I bought him a final drink and made my excuses – I said to him that I had a mission to take care of. He smiled and winked at me – and guess what? I winked right back.

I was woken in the morning by wailing from downstairs. The children should have been finishing their breakfast. Their school-bus was due in a few minutes. Instead they were crying and shouting and totally inconsolable. I could not make out what they were saying; it was as if they were speaking a foreign tongue. Their mother informed me that someone had broken into the house and stolen some items from the kitchen. They had not managed to get through the security door that led to the bedrooms. She was calling the police. As I looked in the kitchen it suddenly occurred to me that the children were crying because the raiders had also pinched their school bags………..

Strong desire to be free

Written By: woolie - Jul• 26•12

We arrived just as they were leaving. They were in a small group of about twenty standing there by the edge of the lake. The ladies wore black and the men were in dark suits. Most of the group wore dark glasses. They walked back to where they had parked their cars and then very slowly they drove away.

I recognised the big car that was the last to leave. It belonged to my friend the former police detective. My companion who was also gazing at the line of departing vehicles said, “That was an ash scattering service. I have been to one here before. Someone says a short prayer then they get the ashes of the deceased and scatter them onto the lake, then they all go home.”

“Wonder who it was that was cremated. I doubt they were African”, observed my pal.

Was he right? I had to find out. On monday I called upon my good friend the ex-detective. He showed me an orbituary and funeral announcement from the Daily Nation of the previous week. It was for Caroline Buxton, If I wanted the background I would have to buy lunch, he said. That is what I did and here is what I learned:

Caroline was born in Nakuru to Thomas Simon Buxton and Anna Waithira in 1956. Buxton worked in the Colonial administration at the time and Caroline’s mother was a Senior nurse at the Provincial General Hospital.

In 1977, Caroline then a qualified nurse, married Timothy Mokasa the son of a powerful Provincial Commissioner. Timothy had recently joined a law firm in Nairobi and with his good family connections he was expected to do well. Timothy was not a good lawyer and the firm was eventually forced to let him go. Caroline stood by her husband when he changed course and decided to set up in business. He used his connections again to secure GOK supply contracts.

During the early years of their marriage, Caroline continued to develop her career and was able to establish herself as a major expert in the training of junior nurses throughout the country. She was in contact with officials from the health and education ministries and all the big government hospitals and she published several training manuals that were used in these institutions. Her continued success was a source of anger and jealousy for her husband, who had not found much fortune in business.

It was just after the birth of their son that Caroline realised that her husband was becoming jealous and had started drinking heavily. Neighbours told stories of his physical and mental abuse of Caroline. At this time Caroline was the principal of a nursing school and had a busy writing schedule. Her successes had now opened to her doors to high society.

In spite of his jealousy and pride, Mokasa was able to convince his wife to use her connections to advance himself. Against advice from family and close friends Caroline used her influence to secure her husband a position in the health ministry as a financial advisor. In a letter to a friend her elderly father wrote…”It is no longer qualifications or what you know but who you know that determines things in this new Kenya. I have very little confidence in the future…”

Around this time a new director of Nursing Services arrived at the ministry. The high-flying doctor was popular with medical staff and ministry officials and it was rumoured that he was destined for big things in government. It was the nature of his position that he consulted with Caroline on a daily basis and they frequently travelled together on official engagements. The young doctor was now pursuaded by political contacts to stand for parliament in a by-election. It was hoped that upon election he would secure the health assistant ministry.

It was time for Timothy Mokasa to strike: without warning he sued the young director. He had hoped to stop the doctor’s political career in its tracks and get some money in the process. He cited the close working relationship between the young doctor and his wife as merely a cover for an outrageous adulterous affair. The case was over in 3 weeks. Mokasa the lousy lawyer lost the suit and the young doctor emerged with his cotton clean image intact. The vengeful Mokasa now vowed that he would never grant his wife a divorce.

Unfortunately for Caroline, Mokasa had used every dirty trick in trying to put his case forward. Now her reputation was in tatters. The intense media interest and declining health forced her to retire from public life. In 1985, Caroline left her husband. She managed to subsist on her earnings as an author, but Mokasa claimed these as his own. He argued successfully in court that, as her husband, Caroline’s earnings were his in law. All her book earnings were surrendered to Mokasa. Caroline got her own back by using the law to her advantage. She ran up bills in her husband’s name and when creditors came for payment she told them that they could sue her husband.

Caroline refused to go back home to her parents prefering to live in Nairobi. Her son studied medicine at the uni going on to become a succesful surgeon. Caroline was never divorced from her husband. The long years of stress took their toll and Caroline was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

As her illness progressed she wrote to a friend of her “strong desire to be free…. I have been locked in a cage of unhappiness for much too long. When my time comes to go please do not put me in a box in the ground. I don’t think my spirit could take it.”

Savages!

Written By: woolie - May• 11•12

Just the other day I was going through some previous posts i’m told most bloggers have gone away on holiday and came across this gem

When the charming author of this blog published it she may not have realised that she was opening a tiny window into her own reading preferences and by extension the preferences of the esteemed readers of her popular site too.

I think it is a fascinating revelation to see or hear what people whom one may consider as their peers are reading. It is also rewarding when they give you an insight into a particular book or writer.

sailing

I have just started reading Paradise by Abdulrazak Gurnah. With every turn of the page I want to curse the author and rip up the book into 1000 pieces. I laugh out loud, feel grossly offended, feel deep sadness and depression and then feel uplifted with each turn of the page.

Please read this book and tell me how you feel.

Scandal at Lanet

Written By: woolie - May• 01•12

INJUSTICE

Ayere’s younger brothers ( they were all my cousins, ofcourse sons of my mother’s brother) were the last in the family to join the Armed forces. They went for training together before they were eventually stationed at Gilgil. The older of the brothers was a real firebrand. He drank and fought like only soldiers in peacetime can and he loved to chase the skirts.

The younger brother was more of the quiet type; he liked to talk things through he was the one people came to when they wanted advice. His career was moving steadily in the right direction and it was agreed that he was destined for great things. In his spare time he wrote poetry and read classic authors. He did not socialise much with the others but he was well liked.

In one of those incredible moments the older soldier man came to a decision. He figured that he had played the field for several years now and that it was time to settle down and raise a family. It came as no surprise to Ayere and the family when their brother married Saaida, the daughter of a local tycoon.

Saaida was beautiful, bright and charming and Ayere’s brother was well and truly under her spell. Her father had made his money in the destructive industry of deforestation. It is told that in his heyday Mr Matumbo’s lorries ferrying charcoal out of Musitu forest near Naivasha would stretch like a military convoy as far as the eye could see. He was personally responsible for the disappearance of this forest, which was a major catchment area feeding fresh water to the lake.

The happy couple soon moved into married quarters and begun wedded bliss. The new husband found his feet and became a serious and responsible character. He got on well in his job and was promoted several times by military superiors. It is when things are going well like this that you hear a knock on the door and open it to find some kind of nasty inconvenience.

Some time back a certain Master Sergeant Samuel Doe had overthrown the civilian government in Liberia. When his turn came the rebels came for him and shot him in the street “kama mbwa”, as our own benign dictator Mr Daniel liked to remind us. In due course the UN wheels slowly swung into motion ordering a peace keeping force to be sent to the Liberian killing fields to disarm the rebels and restore order.

Ayere’s older brother was amongst the initial 250 troops that were sent in advance. On arrival they immediately got to work and their unit received praise from many quarters for their even handed professionalism. A story reached us of how a group of villagers kidnapped by the rebel militia had been rescued by “blue helmets” who braved minefields and heavy machine gunfire in the thick rain forest to get the villagers to safety. Ayere’s brother was in command of that operation.

Back in Nairobi things were not too great for Saaida. Whilst she knew that being married to a soldier meant long periods apart, the news from Liberia was distressing. Rumours were coming in that our boys were ill equipped and did not have the capacity to defend themselves against the rebel forces. There was also news of unpaid allowances and poor moral. Saaida went to visit her young brother in law now based at Lanet. He reassured her and told her that the rumours were without foundation. He was able to calm her down and by the time she left she was actually in good spirits. Two days later she received a letter from her husband which laid her fears to rest.

In a short time whenever Saaida was feeling blue she would go to Lanet. Initially she told her young brother-in-law that she was visiting friends in Nakuru and had thought to check on him on the way and he, ever the gentleman was always happy to see her. She told a close friend, ” Eddo is just a friend, he listens to me and I feel comfortable talking to him…” Her friend had been questioning the wisdom of these weekend trips to Lanet. “these things had a habit of ending in tears”, she observed. “well just remember that you are married to Patrick….. and Eddo is his brother”

The visits continued. It was strange that whenever she could not see Eddo she was like a broken person suffering pains of withdrawal from a powerful drug. It happened once that she “dropped in” at Lanet and he was away. She was informed that he had been sent to Kahawa on official business. For Saaida, blinded by tears the drive back to Nairobi was a struggle.

One evening during the rains in april Saaida called in to see Eddo. They went out for a meal and came back quite late. Back at the house they relaxed over coffee before Eddo suggested that what with the late hour and the bad weather and roads perhaps she should stay the night.There was a spare room which would be quite adequate. It was agreed, the room prepared and they bade each other goodnight Much later Saaida gathered her guts, left her bed and went into Eddo’s room. She slid under the covers beside him. Eddo leapt out of the bed as one stung by a scorpion.

“Saaida! What is the meaning of this? why are you doing this.” She poured out her feelings and told him that he was the one for her. Eddo said it was impossible.It was not going to happen. She was the wife of his brother and that was how it was going to be. With that, he grabbed his clothes and left the room. Moments later She heard the front door bang shut.

Saaida had to move fast. Like her dad Matumbo she was an expert at damage limitation She dressed and went out. Dawn was just breaking as she pulled her car into the gates of the military police station.

“I wish to report an assault by one of your soldiers” she told the sleepy desk sergeant.

Weeks later, Eddo was put before a court martial and despite his strong denials of any wrong doing he was booted out of the army. Despite his good character and glowing references from his superiors a promising career ended in a dishonourable discharge.

Meanwhile in Lobo west of Monrovia, a UN Landrover carrying peace keepers was returning from a mission in the forest when a mine exploded beneath it. The vehicle was lifted several metres into the air. All the occupants were killed in ensuing fireball that engulfed their vehicle. Patrick who commanded the mission would never get to hear of the scandal at Lanet.

Spending some time in the field

Written By: woolie - May• 01•12

There are times when we feel that all this is getting too much. It seems that Woolie can only take so much of the hectic city rat-race. At times like these Woolie likes nothing better to take a short break and go back to the source. Woolie is seen here bonding with family in the country and recharging the batteries

sailing

So sorry it had to come to this (II)

Written By: woolie - Mar• 30•12

My friend was gone for about a quarter of an hour and now he returned with a new bottle and a jug of ice-water on a huge tray. My generous host had even warmed up a large piece of spicy mutura which he now cut up and set on a plate before me.

“ I hope you are ok with Mutura,” he said. “Being on my own here I only cook for one. Many evenings I eat out – but don’t tell my wife that otherwise she will insist on coming down from the farm to look after me,” He said, laughing.

He re-lit his pipe and said, “So – where had we got to……yes we had a typed note suggesting that the lady had been driven to take her own life by her husband. Someone desperately wanted us to think that this was the case.”

I listened intently chewing on the delicious mutura.

My friend was saying how Hallibut Nyalima had proved to be a dodgy character so early in the investigation. When the police in Abuja had gone up to his hotel room to deliver their sombre news he had been found in the arms of a Dr Esther Hadithi – also from the Government Science office. The Naija cop’s words were, “her attire suggested that she was going to be with our broda for breakfast.”

Back in Nairobi the investigating team wanted to interview Ms Mpensi at the earliest opportunity. She might, after all, be able to shed light on how Mrs Nyalima had come to be poisoned. Mpensi was cooperative from the start. It came as a shock to her that her colleague was dead. She was adamant that Steffi would never have commited suicide – and certainly not over a womanising loser like Hallibut. According to Mpensi she had been summoned to the Managing Director’s office just before two-thirty on that day and he had told her that Nyalima was poorly. The boss asked Mpensi to take her straight home to bed. There was nothing suspicious and It looked as though Nyalima had been taking some dictation when she was taken ill. The odd thing though, was there were two tea cups on the desk. They must have worked through lunch, Mpensi had thought.

Other workers in the firm were interviewed and it was a similar story. Steffi was a well-liked colleague who was good at her job. It was widely known that her husband, a senior government scientist liked to chase the skirts and he had put his wife wife through hell. They did wonder why she put up with him.

The police now interviewed Mr Kali, the company’s Managing Director. He was a stubborn man with a brusque manner. He gave the impression that all this was a waste of time. He suggested that Steffi’s demise was yet another worry to add to his stressful life. He would now have to engage a new PA. Further investigations revealed that several months earlier, Kali had accused the entire office staff of stealing company property. A memory stick with confidential company information had gone missing and the whole place had been turned upside down as they tried to find it.

With this new information the police had gone back to the Nyalima house. There, hidden behind the panels in the bathroom, they discovered Steffi Nyalima’s laptop. Why had she taken such measures to conceal it? Forensic officers were able to unearth some signifcant information. It was apparent that Nyalima had discovered that their company was involved in serious drug smuggling. There were emails detailing purchases and shipments of “white powder” from a company based in Karachi, Pakistan. Other emails revealing huge payemnts in US dollars to Swiss bank accounts and authorised by Kali came to light. There was a list of recipients of copies of these emails, names of well-known personalities.

“Woolie, I guess it is fair to say that my team were jubilant.” Said the retired cop, as he re-lit his pipe once again.

“Our investigation was going well and things were coming together. I went to see the MD the following day taking with me a young detective called Charlie Uwezo. Mr Kali was as arrogant as ever saying that we would regret this intrusion on his privacy, him a law-abiding citizen whose tax-shilingis paid our wages, and all that kind of scorn.”

“We put it to him that he had murdered Steffi Nyalima because she had stumbled upon his drug-importation network and needed to be silenced. We told him of our discovery of the emails. He did not deny it. Instead he asked us to wait whilst he called his lawyer. He spoke on the phone for several minutes and then with a smile, he told us that his lawyer would be with us shortly. He had the cheek to ask us if we would have some tea while we waited.”

The former detective poured us another drink and continued with his story. He told me how whilst they sat in the office Charlie had been fiddling with his mobile phone and now an amazing thing happened. The unmistakable sound of a phone ringing somewhere in the room. Kali was visibly shaken. The sound seemed to be coming from a drawer in his desk. Charlie told his boss that he had dialled Steffi’s mobile number. It was her phone ringing inside the MD’s desk!

Kali denied any knowledge of how the phone had ended up in his desk. For us it was simple: From Ms Mapensi’s statement, Nyalima’s phone was by her bed when she had left her. She remembered telling her to call her if she needed anything. An sms had been sent to Agnes from this same phone. How is it that it was now in Kali’s possession? Surely it was Kali who had entered the bedroom, perhaps through the large window, administered the poison to the drugged victim and then taken the phone with him, to send that SOS text message to Agnes later.

My friend the former detective was full of excitement when he took all this evidence to his boss in Vigil House. It was not often that a murder case in the City was wrapped up so quickly. His joy was short-lived however. He found his boss in a most foul mood. He was asked to explain who had given him the authority to go about harassing innocent and upright gentlemen like Mr Kali. He did not want to hear about the “evidence” which the gentleman’s laywer had already told him was entirely circumstantial.

“Woolie, you can imagine my dismay when he told me to drop the entire case. We could not proceed with it. When I asked why he said it was orders from above. I pressed him more, Woolie, this is a guy that I had known and looked up to for many years. He was our house prefect in high school. I thought he was a decent and upright cop so I wanted to know why. He told me something that cut me down like stima. He said to me that he was due for retirement in about 14 months or so – he had two sons in university and he had planned to spend his retirement tending his tea bushes in a small holding that he had acquired. If the guys upstairs said to him drop a case he dropped it. He wanted to be alive, to enjoy his retirement with his family.

My pal explained to me how devasted he was. He had to stand down his team and explain to them why it had ended in this way. As the team collected their stuff and went out Charlie Uwezo came up to my friend and gave him a slip of paper. “Call this number – he is ok, boss and he is expecting your call.”

“I called the number, Woolie, not quite sure what to expect. The phone was answered after two rings. The man who answered asked me to meet him at the coffee house located in the ground floor of Electricity House in twenty minutes. That was just two minutes away. I waited ten minutes and walked into the cafe. I ordered a cold Picana passion and waited. As the twenty minutes expired a chap came to my table and asked if the seat opposite was taken. I said no and he sat down. He picked up a menu which he begun to study intently. He was talking quietly and very quickly. He said I was not to ask him his name or occupation. All I needed to know was that he was on my side: Kali would not get away.

He told me that there was a red Nissan Primera parked outside. I was to finish my soda, pay and walk to the car and take the driver’s seat. The keys were in the ignition. I was to drive round the corner and stop by Kenya Cinema. He would walk and join me there.

“As we drove into the evening traffic my companion now decided to explain himself a little. He was from a secret military intelligence outfit called S2. Officially this unit did not exist. It was so secret that even senior people in the police were not aware of it. I studied his face when he was not looking. Where had I seen him before – or perhaps he reminded me of someone, I was not sure.

“He explained that they had been monitoring the activities of Kali’s company after receiving substantial information from one of his agents: Steffi Nyalima. She had sent them communications that suggested that Kali’s outfit would very shortly be taking delivery of 2,400kg of pure cocaine from Pakistan for onward transmission to Europe.

“The S2 agent told me that it was actually quite fortuitous that the corrupt system had shut down our murder case. Kali would now be bullish and confident knowing that his friends in high places were watching his back. The deal would go ahead. S2 were preparing a trap for him. They would catch him and his team red-handed as they moved their drugs to their warehouse which S2 had already established was in a side street off Lusaka road, Inda.

“Five weeks later on a friday the trap was set. The container bearing Kali’s cargo arrived at the inland cargo terminal by Embakasi. As arranged it was transported under police escort to the industrial area just after midnight where Kali and his henchmen were waiting to take delivery. They hurriedly opened the container and proceeded to offload 800 bags each of 3kg of their deadly cargo into the warehouse. Just as the last of the bags were being loaded onto the pallet a bright light was switched on and they were all asked to lie down. They were caught totally unawares and did not even bother to resist or try to flee.”

“S2 had got their men. They were taken to court on the monday. S2 had the import documents obtained from Steffi’s emails. There was also video-surveillance evidence taken over several months. From the Pakistani authorities they had obtained immigration documents detailing visits by Kali and others to Karachi on several occasions. Then there were the hard drugs seized in the raid – an open and shut case, or so you would think.”

“Woolie, you know yourself that I am not one for melodrama.That monday will go down in history as the day justice suffered one of its heaviest blows from the vultures of corruption. The wise old Judge sat at his bench on that day and told a hushed court-room that Kali and his men were the innocent victims of a police vendetta. The arresting officers were accused of wrongful arrest, intimidation and torture. The prosecution had alleged, the Judge said, that there were 800 bags of cocaine which they had documented. Why is it that when the defence visited the secure storage they found only 796 bags. This was typical of police incompetence. And on and on he went.

As you know S2 could not take part in the prosecutions without revealing their existence. It was left to us to carry the can. The judge recommended that I be disciplined and demoted for poor handling of the case and a waste of tax-payers money. The wise judge ordered that Kali and his men be released immediately.”

“As he stood at the stairs of the law-courts answering reporters’ questions Kali said he was grateful that he lived in a free and democratic country where a person was presumed innocent until proven guilty, yada yada – my friend I almost puked. He told reporters that he was now free to concentrate on building his business once again. He was also free now to travel to England to attend his daughters graduation.” He came up to me right then Woolie and said – you detective inspector, you are, you are…….. bloody bure kabisa.. hahahaha…”

“I went home that day and told my wife that I would be handing in my resignation the following morning.”

“If you do that, she said, then that low-life Kali and his type are the winners – also who knows if what your chief said to you was true. If you resign you are considered a liability – an adui. They know how they could make your demise look like an accident.”

“Ofcourse she was right. I was healthy and of sound mind but the people I was dealing with could act with impunity. I suddenly fell into one of those moods and found myself spending hours in dodgy pubs drinking warm beer until the small hours. I chatted up barmaids who told me to get lost and that I was old enough to be their pa and I sunk deeper into depression and self doubt. At first I stopped shaving and then the showers went too and I started smelling. I was losing it big time. One very dull Sunday I was sitting at my wife’s dressing table with my service revolver in my mouth. I was just about to pull the trigger when she walked in, Woolie.”

“Put that down, there is somebody to see you, in the sitting room” she said it, just like that. No drama, no panic. She now treated me like the baby that I had become. I went out to see who it was but they was gone. There was a hand-written note on the coffee table. K leaving on tuesday night for graduation. Expect some news thursday.

“You probably don’t know this, Woolie, but S2 operatives and operations are known to very few people in this country. All of them would deny that such an outfit even exists. For this reason they are able to infiltrate all sections of society digging for information relating to the well-being of the nation. My S2 contact gave me a copy of his unedited report that was sent to him by an agent in London.”

It said: Mr Kali and his friend arrived at London’s Heathrow airport aboard KQ 106 shortly after 0630 on Wednesday morning. There was hardly any delay at passport control and they proceeded to the baggage reclaim area chatting amiably. They waited close to the carousel as the bags came chugging along. Kali spotted his dark brown leather suitcase and pulled it off. His female companion’s bag was bright pink. Kali grabbed that too and they made their way to the exit.

They had just gone through the green “nothing to declare” channel when a customs official called them back. The officer was joined by a colleague and they proceeded to check the two suitcases. A television crew had joined in by this time. The pink suitcase was declared clear and the lady was escorted to a waiting area. The brown leather suitcase had many pockets and the officers carried out a meticulous search. Mr Kali was his bouyant self joking with the TV crew when at that very moment the customs chap pulled out first, one and then three other polythene bags containing a white powder. A total of 4 3kg bags of cocaine. Kali denied all knowledge of the cocaine.

“Basically S2 set Kali up using his own drugs. It was a simple matter to hold back a few bags when they arrested them just incase corrupt police had other tricks in mind. It was also easy to switch Kali’s suitcase with an identical one with fewer of his clothes and to insert the four bags of powder. A quick phone call to our agent in London ensured that the customs were aware of Kali even before he had left Kenya airspace. Must we always rely on foreign courts to hand out justice?

“ Anyway, to cut a long story short, Mr Kali was subsequently charged with importing cocaine into the country and was jailed for nine years. Our local papers did not give much prominence to the story. Selective self-censorship.

“I was back at work the following week and things were gradually getting back to normal. I was sitting at my desk doing the crossword when a fresh text message checked in. Coffee house downstairs 20 mins

” So I sauntered into the coffee house just before the 20 minutes expired. This time I had smile in my heart, Woolie and you know that feeling that I was on the verge of something big.

The S2 man……Ofcourse….I knew who he reminded me of .., it was Charlie…..Charlie Uwezo had taken some leave and I had not seen him for over a week.. S2 man looked so much like him…..and he was now asking me whether I’d be interested in working for them.

“I just said sawa, I would be delighted, Mr Uwezo, when can I start?”